resting beyond worth

How PSIP helped me find the shame in my diaphragm and the space beneath it.

Most of my PSIP work leads back to the worthiness wound. This constructed concept has roots in supremacist movements and capitalism…that have only grown deeper with the shift towards techno-feudalism and the still face experiment on social media.

I know this trap well. Much of my own healing work has revolved around deep shame lodged in my diaphragm that speaks with caught breaths and lifeless arms taking me to galaxies beyond bone (dissociated places). The trap of striving towards a “me” I want to be. The treadmill of proving my lovability, grasping for acceptance from dead eyes lost in their feed/food/drink.

Enoughness and worthiness sits inside the dominant culture’s lens of separation, comparison - the war paradigm.

I have learned through this work and my teacher, the breath - that when we only understand the wound from the same paradigm that shaped it, we stay inside the very framework that formed it. I have learned to approach the worthiness wound with something different - a wide lens, soft heart, and curious eyes. A perspective that goes beyond worth - beneath it, into the unstruck space of the heart. The place that is unscathed, untouched by the dominant culture’s bind of worthiness. The place where we remember ourselves beyond worth. I wrote this after one of my PSIP sessions:

Worth and value are concepts of capitalist hellscapes where we are forced to hoard to survive. Retirements invested in rapacious systems grinding us to a pulp.

How do we operate in this paradigm where value and worth are conflated with pressured pursuits of accolades and distinctions?

Maybe the subversion is to slow way down…and drop beneath worth into the pockets of time between time. The space where pressure is swaddled with presence and reassured with the essence of who we really are:

Nothing more than a constellation of sensations in dancing skin suits, spinning and brimming through space at 67,000 miles per hour. Nothing more than rhizome and biome; bags of bones that will one day become stone.

Nothing and everything all in the same breath resting beyond worth.